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TOEFL writing practice #2

Writing Task 2 - Independent Question

Directions​:​ ​For this task, you will write an essay in response to a question that asks you to state,

explain, and support your opinion on an issue.

Typically, an effective essay will contain a minimum of 300 words. Your essay will be judged based on the

quality of your writing. This includes the development of your ideas, the organization of your essay, and

the quality and accuracy of the language you use to express your ideas.

You have 30 minutes to plan and complete your essay.

Your professor has assigned the class a final project. However, each student is free to choose who they

will work with. If you had to work on this kind of project, would you rather:

- Work alone

- Work with classmates

- Work with a tutor

Use specific reasons and examples to support your essay. Be sure to use your own words. Do not use

memorized examples. 

my response:

In this case, in term of final project of a class, I would prefer work alone by my self. Here are my reasons.

Firstly, in my experience, working together with classmates were so slow. The project that supposed to be done let's say for a week, but if it done by team of students, it will cost perhaps 2 or 3 weeks. For me that just not right. The reason why work in teamwork of students really takes time, because in college situation the students often not breakdown the project then distribute the work, but we work together from A to Z. Too many discussions and frictions. Differently in real life, the breakdown of project will be distribute evenly depends on each person competency and skill.

Secondly, if the project must be done by my self, it will push my self to fully understand the subject of the class. Frankly speaking, mostly students will not get 100% knowledge from every class they had attended. Final project, must be include all of the materials of the class, so every students like or not must review every single material that they missed. Fair enough if final project has dominant contribute to final score of students.

However, working alone will not provide students to practice team work. As we now, have a role in a team, in real life is really demanding thing. I've seen many people that has good academic record in the college but unable to perform in their real job. And sometimes, and of course people knew it, a man who not really good in theory of their job, but can easily deal with people on any conditions, has high chance to get bright career.

So, if I have to choose which one I would prefer from those options, I choose work alone. But it doesn't mean that I don't understand how critical work with classmates to improve student's team-work skills.

Assessed by ChatGPT:

Thank you for sharing your essay with me. Here are some areas where you could improve your writing:

  1. Clarity of Ideas and Organization: Your essay contains some good ideas, but they are not well-organized, and your paragraphs do not have a clear structure. Consider breaking down your essay into three or four paragraphs, each addressing a different aspect of your argument. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence.

  2. Grammar and Syntax: Your essay contains several grammar and syntax errors. For instance, your sentences are often too long and convoluted, making it difficult for the reader to follow your ideas. Also, some of your phrases are awkward or unclear, such as "in term of final project of a class." Try to simplify your language and focus on clear and concise expression.

  3. Use of Evidence: Your essay lacks specific evidence or examples to support your claims. Consider adding specific details to illustrate your points and make your argument more convincing. For example, you could provide an example of a project that you worked on with classmates that took longer than expected due to communication difficulties.

  4. Addressing the Prompt: While your essay does address the prompt, it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement and more explicit reasoning. Consider stating your position in a clear and concise thesis statement at the beginning of your essay, and then use each paragraph to support your position with specific reasons and examples.

Overall, I think you have some good ideas, but your writing could benefit from better organization, clearer language, and more specific evidence. Keep practicing and revising your work, and I'm sure you'll see improvement in your TOEFL score. Good luck!

Based on the criteria of development of ideas, organization, and quality and accuracy of language, I would rate your essay a 17 out of 30. While you have some good ideas, your essay lacks clear organization and specific evidence to support your argument. Additionally, there are several grammar and syntax errors that detract from the clarity of your writing. With some revisions and practice, you can improve your score.

Sure, I can provide some corrections and suggestions for improvement. Please see my comments below:

In this case, for the final project of a class, I would prefer to work alone. Here are my reasons.

Firstly, in my experience, working with classmates can be slow. A project that should take a week to complete may take 2 or 3 weeks when done by a team of students. This is because, in a college situation, students often do not break down the project and distribute the work evenly, but instead work together from start to finish. This can lead to many discussions and conflicts, which can be time-consuming. In real life, however, projects are often broken down and distributed evenly based on each person's competency and skill.

Secondly, if I work on the project by myself, it will push me to fully understand the subject matter of the class. Students may not get 100% knowledge from every class they attend, but the final project must include all of the materials covered in the class. Therefore, working on the project alone will require me to review every single material that I missed, ensuring that I have a comprehensive understanding of the subject matter.

While working alone has its benefits, it does not provide students with the opportunity to practice teamwork, which is a critical skill in real life. As we know, having a role in a team is a demanding thing, and being able to work well with others is often essential for success. However, in this particular case, I believe that the benefits of working alone outweigh the benefits of working with classmates or a tutor.

In conclusion, if I had to choose who to work with on a final project, I would choose to work alone. While this approach may not provide an opportunity to practice teamwork, it allows me to work at my own pace, ensures that I fully understand the subject matter, and eliminates potential conflicts or communication difficulties with classmates.

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