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TOEFL writing practice #3

 Directions: Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and

revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300

words.


Response Time: 30 minutes


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


my answer:

It is quite tempting to agree with the statement, because in reality, human getting more aware to environment issues than ever. However in my opinion, I couldn't see in the next 20 years, in worldwide views, cars in use will be less numbers than today. So I disagree with the statement. In my thought, new fancy technology of cars and economical growth are the reasons, human will use more cars than ever in the next 20 years.

Firstly, technology of cars getting better and better. Nowadays electric vehicle, not so common, but as we can see this new technology being talked everywhere. Even now electric cars not so affordable price, but I am sure in the future it getting cheaper. In my country, these days, I have seen 1-2 electric cars on the streets, compare to zero in the past 5 years. So confirm that electric cars on the streets proceeding growth stage. If I am the people who bought those electric cars, I will not replace my old-non-electric car, thus I doubled the number of cars in the world. This electric cars only a beginning of other new coming technology, such as autonomous cars, one-person cars, drone cars, and much more. It will attract more people to buy a new car.

Moreover, in my thought, the growth of our economy will cause more cars in the streets than ever. Simply because people who get more income, so the purchasing power will be rise, and they will consider buy new car or their first car in their life. Not to mention that cars will become more cheaper because of the technology. Even if in the future the world will face crisis in economy, but in reality, still there are people who could have advantage and level up their economy status.

So in conclusion of my opinion, the numbers of cars will be higher numbers than ever in the next 20 years. But mankind will find a new technology to make it saver to our environemnt.


Rate by ChatGPT:

Thank you for submitting your essay! Here is my feedback on your response:

Strengths:

  • You provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction stating that you disagree with the statement and provide reasons why.
  • You provide specific examples to support your argument, such as the growth in technology and the economy.
  • You have a clear structure with paragraphs dedicated to specific arguments.

Areas for Improvement:

  • Although your essay is well-structured, it is quite short (around 220 words) and doesn't fully develop your ideas. It may be beneficial to add more detail and examples to support your claims, and to develop counterarguments to show a more balanced perspective.
  • There are some grammatical errors and typos, so it would be helpful to proofread your essay before submitting it.

Overall, I would rate your response as average. While you provide some good arguments and examples, your essay could benefit from more detail and development to fully support your points. Additionally, proofreading your essay would help to eliminate some grammatical errors and typos.

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Based on the TOEFL writing rubric, I would rate your essay as a 16 out of 30.

Your essay has a clear thesis statement and provides some specific examples to support your argument. However, your essay is quite short and lacks sufficient development of your ideas. Additionally, there are some grammatical errors and typos that could be corrected through proofreading.

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Sure, here is a corrected version of your essay:

It is quite tempting to agree with the statement that there will be fewer cars in use in twenty years due to increasing environmental awareness. However, in my opinion, it is unlikely that the number of cars in use will decrease globally over the next two decades. Therefore, I disagree with the statement. I believe that advancements in car technology and economic growth will result in even more cars on the road in the future.

Firstly, the technology behind cars is constantly improving. Electric vehicles, although not yet common, are becoming increasingly prevalent. Even though they are still relatively expensive, their cost is expected to decrease in the future. In my country, I have noticed a few electric cars on the road recently, whereas there were none five years ago. As more people adopt electric cars, it is likely that they will keep their older gasoline-powered cars as well, thus increasing the total number of cars on the road. Additionally, new car technologies such as autonomous vehicles and drone cars are likely to be developed in the future, which will further increase car usage.

Moreover, I believe that economic growth will also contribute to an increase in car usage. As people's incomes rise, they are more likely to purchase cars, even if they already own one. Moreover, as car technology improves, the cost of purchasing and owning a car is expected to decrease, which will make cars even more affordable. Even in the event of an economic crisis, there will always be people who have the means to purchase cars.

In conclusion, while it is important to consider environmental concerns, it is unlikely that there will be fewer cars in use globally in the next twenty years. Advancements in car technology and economic growth will contribute to an increase in the number of cars on the road. However, I believe that new technologies will be developed that make cars safer for the environment.

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Sure, here's an example of an essay that could potentially receive a perfect score on the TOEFL exam:

In today's world, there is growing concern about the impact of automobiles on the environment. While some people believe that in twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today, I strongly agree with this statement. In my opinion, a combination of factors such as technological advancements, changes in consumer behavior, and environmental concerns will lead to a significant decrease in the number of cars on the road.

Firstly, technological advancements are paving the way for cleaner, more sustainable modes of transportation. For example, electric vehicles are becoming increasingly popular due to their efficiency and low carbon emissions. As the technology behind electric cars continues to improve, it is likely that they will become more affordable and accessible to consumers. In addition, the development of public transportation systems, such as high-speed trains and subways, will provide people with viable alternatives to driving their cars.

Secondly, changes in consumer behavior will play a key role in reducing the number of cars on the road. People are becoming more aware of the impact that their actions have on the environment and are taking steps to reduce their carbon footprint. This includes choosing to live in walkable communities, carpooling, and using ride-sharing services like Uber and Lyft. As people shift towards more sustainable modes of transportation, the demand for personal cars will decrease.

Finally, environmental concerns will continue to drive policy changes that make it more difficult for people to own and operate cars. Governments around the world are implementing measures such as congestion charges, higher fuel taxes, and restrictions on car usage in urban areas. In addition, there is a growing movement to promote cycling and walking as healthy and sustainable alternatives to driving.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that in twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Technological advancements, changes in consumer behavior, and environmental concerns are all factors that will contribute to this trend. While it may take time for these changes to take effect, I am confident that we will see a significant decrease in the number of cars on the road in the years to come.

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