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TOEFL Writing practice #18

Task 1: Integrated Writing

Reading Passage:

Title: The Advantages of Renewable Energy Sources

Renewable energy sources, such as solar, wind, and hydroelectric power, have gained significant attention in recent years due to their potential to mitigate climate change and provide sustainable energy solutions. Unlike fossil fuels, which contribute to greenhouse gas emissions and environmental degradation, renewable energy offers numerous benefits. This passage will explore the advantages of renewable energy and its potential to reshape our energy systems.

One of the key advantages of renewable energy sources is their ability to reduce carbon emissions. Solar and wind energy produce electricity without emitting harmful greenhouse gases, making them environmentally friendly alternatives to fossil fuels. Additionally, renewable energy technologies have the potential to generate electricity at a large scale, which can significantly contribute to reducing reliance on fossil fuels and lowering carbon footprints.

Moreover, renewable energy sources are virtually inexhaustible. Unlike finite fossil fuel reserves, the sun, wind, and water are abundant resources that can be harnessed for energy generation without depletion. This offers a long-term and sustainable solution to meet our energy demands, ensuring a continuous energy supply for future generations.

Furthermore, renewable energy projects have the potential to create economic opportunities and job growth. The development, installation, and maintenance of renewable energy infrastructure require skilled labor and expertise, leading to job creation in various sectors. Moreover, investing in renewable energy can reduce dependence on imported fossil fuels, which can have positive economic impacts by promoting energy independence and reducing trade deficits.

In conclusion, renewable energy sources offer several advantages, including reduced carbon emissions, long-term sustainability, and economic opportunities. Embracing renewable energy technologies can lead to a cleaner and more sustainable energy future.

Listening Passage:

Professor: Good morning, class. Today, I'd like to discuss the reading passage we reviewed about renewable energy sources. While the passage presents some valid points, I have some reservations regarding the feasibility and effectiveness of relying solely on renewable energy.

Firstly, the passage highlights the reduced carbon emissions of solar and wind energy. While it's true that these sources produce electricity without emitting greenhouse gases, we must consider their intermittent nature. Solar power depends on sunlight, which is not constant throughout the day or in all regions. Similarly, wind energy relies on consistent wind patterns, which may not be available in all locations. Therefore, the unreliability of these sources can pose challenges to maintaining a consistent energy supply.

Additionally, the passage emphasizes the potential for renewable energy to create economic opportunities and job growth. However, we must acknowledge that the transition from traditional energy systems to renewable energy will require substantial investments and changes in infrastructure. These factors can initially result in job displacement in certain sectors and may require retraining of the workforce. Moreover, the passage overlooks the economic costs associated with the storage and distribution of renewable energy, which can be significant barriers to its widespread adoption.

The question:

Summarize the points made by the professor in the lecture and explain how they cast doubt on specific points mentioned in the reading passage about the advantages of renewable energy sources.

My Answer:

The reading passage discuss about the advantages about renewable energy, those are in terms of reducing carbon emission, inexhaustible resources, and economic opportunities. On the other hand, the professor challenges those ideas. Even if the professor seems fully agreed that renewable energy could reduce carbon emission, but here some her concerns.

The professor argue we must concern about feasibility & effectiveness of renewable energy, especially about the intermittent of the energy itself. She said, for example solar and wind, those energies not available all the time. The sunlight only available at daylight, and we can't control to make the wind blows continuously. Thus, the professor believe solar and wind energy not really effective to replace our current energy of source such as fossils.

Secondly, the professor cast doubt about the economical and jobs impact by the renewable energy. She seems agreed that the renewable energy in the future will open more jobs and give big impact to our economy, but practically we will facing transition period to move to renewable energy systems. This transition require huge investment in infrastructure also needs new skill sets for employees. Hence, people who can't adapt to the changes could lost their jobs then displacement of jobs will happens. Moreover, because of this huge of investment would be a barrier for enterprises to enter the industry, so economical growth couldn't grow fast enough.

In conclusion, it can be infer from the reading and the professor's opinion, human being must put more deep attention in order practicing renewable energy to our world.

ChatGPT Assessment:

Overall, your response provides a reasonable summary of the professor's points and their doubts about specific aspects mentioned in the reading passage. Here's a breakdown of the evaluation:

Content: You accurately identified the professor's concerns regarding the feasibility and effectiveness of relying solely on renewable energy, specifically highlighting the intermittent nature of solar and wind energy. You also mentioned the potential job displacement and the economic costs associated with the transition to renewable energy. These points align with the professor's arguments.

Structure: Your response is well-organized, with clear paragraphs addressing each point raised by the professor. Each paragraph focuses on a specific concern, providing a logical flow to your explanation.

Language and Grammar: Your writing is generally clear and understandable. However, there are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases that could be improved. For example, in the sentence "Even if the professor seems fully agreed that renewable energy could reduce carbon emission," it would be better to say "Even though the professor agrees that renewable energy can reduce carbon emissions." Additionally, the sentence "Hence, people who can't adapt to the changes could lost their jobs then displacement of jobs will happens" should be revised to "Hence, people who can't adapt to the changes could lose their jobs, resulting in job displacement."

Length: Your response is of appropriate length, covering the main points without unnecessary repetition or excessive detail.

Based on these criteria, I would rate your answer at around 85%. With some minor improvements in language and grammar, your response would be even stronger. Remember to proofread your writing to catch any errors and ensure clarity. Good job overall!

Task 2: Indenpendent Writing

The question:

Should College Education be Free?

My Answer:

In my own perspective, I don't agree if college education should be free at all. Here are some my reasons.

To run a college need huge amount of resources, especially money. Universities must provide facility to their students, such as classrooms, internet, parking lots, laboratories, etc. To build and run those facilities fund is absolutely needed. For example, there are costs for construct the building, buy the infrastructure, providing laborites tools, and of course salary for people who run it. It is nearly impossible for universities rely all their operational costs to government, so it can't be not students fee must be applied.

Next reason is because if it free at all, potentially make students not valued their own study. As a human, it is so common if we are not valuing something that we never put effort on it. So if students do effort for their study, in this case is money, supposed to be they will value more their study processes and will become more educated person after graduate.

Thirdly, education fee can be consider as an investment. If students accepting their education fee as an investment, they must be seek for return. Hopefully, after graduate, they will be more serious doin their jobs or perhaps good businesses could be flourishing. These scheme obviously will make our society keep move forward for greater good.

However, even if I don't agree if education must be free at all, in the other side I totally support good scholarship systems for students. Not every students can afford their education fee, so whether government, NGOs, or corporates must providing scholarship to tight selected students.

Hence, I believe education fee must be applied to all students in order to produce good output people. And some exception must be applied, for maintaining equal opportunities for all students.

ChatGPT Assessment:

Your response addresses the question prompt and presents a clear opinion on whether college education should be free. Overall, your essay demonstrates organization and coherence in presenting your ideas. Here is a breakdown of the strengths and areas for improvement in your essay:


Clear position: You clearly state your perspective that college education should not be free, and you provide reasons to support your viewpoint.
Development of ideas: Each paragraph presents a distinct reason, and you provide explanations and examples to support your arguments.
Cohesion: The essay flows well from one point to another, and the concluding paragraph summarizes your main points effectively.
Areas for improvement:

Grammar and sentence structure: There are a few instances where sentence structure and grammar could be improved. For example, in the sentence "To build and run those facilities fund is absolutely needed," it would be better to say "Funding is absolutely needed to build and run those facilities."
Vocabulary and word choice: Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices to enhance the clarity and sophistication of your writing. For example, instead of repeatedly using the word "value," you could use synonyms such as "appreciate" or "acknowledge."
Elaboration: Some of your points could benefit from further elaboration and development. For instance, when discussing the potential lack of value placed on education if it is free, you could provide specific examples or studies that support this claim.
Considering these factors, I would rate your essay at around 75-80%. With some improvements in grammar, vocabulary, and further development of your ideas, you can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your writing. Remember to proofread your essay to catch any errors and ensure coherence. Good luck with your TOEFL IBT preparation!


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