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TOEFL IBT Writing practice #34

Writing - 1


Reading Passage:


Title: Benefits of Bilingual Education


Bilingual education has garnered significant attention as an effective approach to foster cognitive development and cultural awareness among students. This educational method involves instructing students in two languages, often their native language and a second language, with the goal of enabling them to become proficient in both. Proponents of bilingual education argue that it offers numerous benefits, including enhanced problem-solving skills, improved executive function, and greater intercultural understanding. Additionally, it is believed to provide a competitive edge in the global job market, as multilingual individuals are highly sought after by employers.


Studies have shown that bilingualism can positively impact a child's cognitive abilities. When students switch between languages, they exercise their brain, leading to increased cognitive flexibility. Furthermore, bilingual students tend to excel in tasks that require higher-order thinking skills, such as problem-solving and creative thinking. This enhanced cognitive flexibility is seen to persist throughout their lives, providing lasting benefits in various aspects.


Moreover, bilingual education fosters cultural awareness and sensitivity among students. By learning a second language, students gain insights into different cultures, traditions, and ways of life. This exposure not only promotes tolerance and acceptance but also equips students to participate effectively in an increasingly interconnected world. Bilingual individuals are better equipped to navigate multicultural environments and bridge communication gaps between diverse communities.


Listening Transcript:


Professor: Good morning, class. Today, I want to discuss the topic of bilingual education, which was mentioned in the reading passage you had for today. While the passage presented the benefits of bilingual education, I must express some doubts about its effectiveness, especially in diverse classroom settings.


Firstly, the reading claims that bilingual education enhances problem-solving skills and cognitive flexibility. While there may be some evidence supporting this claim, it is crucial to consider that the level of cognitive benefits varies among individuals. Factors such as the age at which a student is introduced to the second language, the frequency of language use outside the classroom, and the proficiency of the teachers can all significantly influence the cognitive advantages derived from bilingual education.


Secondly, the reading passage suggests that bilingual education promotes intercultural understanding and tolerance. While this is a noble goal, the reality is more complex. In diverse classrooms, where students come from various cultural backgrounds and language proficiencies, the implementation of bilingual education may inadvertently create divisions. Some students might feel overwhelmed or left behind if they struggle to keep up with the language demands. In such cases, the intended intercultural benefits might not fully materialize.


Lastly, the reading mentioned the advantages of bilingualism in the job market. While it is true that certain job opportunities may favor bilingual individuals, the global job market is diverse and dynamic. Fluency in a second language might not always be the primary determinant for employability. Other factors such as technical skills, work experience, and adaptability also play significant roles in securing employment.


So, in conclusion, while the reading passage painted a positive picture of bilingual education, we should critically assess its practical implications, especially in diverse classroom settings. We need to acknowledge that bilingual education is not a one-size-fits-all solution and consider the individual needs and challenges of students.


Question:


Summarize the professor's main points in the lecture and explain how they cast doubt on specific points made in the reading passage about the benefits of bilingual education.



My Answer:

While the reading passage explains about benefits of bilingual education, the professor has different point of view regarding those. According to him, those benefits could not as good as it expected, it have doubts effectiveness of bilingual education especially in classroom setting. The professor arguments to the reading passage are discuss on the following paragraphs.


From the reading passage, it can infer that bilingual education could improve child cognitive abilities and increase creativity. The professor believes, this statement might be true, but it would be vary for all each of students. He presents the fact that some students just could not keep up with the bilingual language then it would leads to drawback for some students.


Secondly, the reading passage explains bilingual education could enhance children’s cultural awareness and sensitivity. However, the professor said this statement is a noble goal, the reality is not so easy and complex to achieve. According to him, studying with different kind of language on class setting could leads to division between students. Thus instead of build inclusivity, exclusivity could happen.


Lastly about the jobs opportunities on global market. The reading passage mention about bilingual education could provide students with advantage on global jobs market, because employers have preferable into bilingual employee. On the other hands, the professor argue the bilingual ability might be beneficial for seeking jobs, but it is not the primary factor. There are other more important factor includes particular skills, experience, and adaptability.


In conclusion, the professor gave critics to the reading passage that only painted positive benefits of bilingual education. He believes implementing bilingual education must given furher concern from teachers. 




Please assess my response based on this:

The TOEFL iBT® Writing Scoring Rubric—Integrated Tasks is used to evaluate responses based on different levels of performance. Here is a breakdown of each level:


Score 5: A response at this level demonstrates a successful selection of important information from the lecture and presents it coherently and accurately in relation to the relevant information presented in the reading. The response is well organized, and occasional language errors, if any, do not result in inaccurate or imprecise presentation of content or connections.


Score 4: A response at this level generally selects the important information from the lecture and presents it coherently and accurately in relation to the relevant information in the reading. However, there may be minor omissions, inaccuracies, vagueness, or imprecision in some content from the lecture or in connection to points made in the reading. The response may also have more frequent or noticeable minor language errors, as long as they do not significantly impact clarity or the connection of ideas.


Score 3: A response at this level includes some important information from the lecture and conveys a somewhat relevant connection to the reading. However, it may be marked by one or more of the following: vague, global, unclear, or somewhat imprecise connection of the points made in the lecture to points made in the reading; omission of one major key point made in the lecture; incomplete, inaccurate, or imprecise key points or connections between the lecture and the reading; and errors of usage and/or grammar that result in vague expressions or obscured meanings in conveying ideas and connections.


Score 2: A response at this level contains some relevant information from the lecture but is marked by significant language difficulties, significant omission or inaccuracy of important ideas from the lecture, or weak connections between the lecture and the reading. It may significantly misrepresent or completely omit the overall connection between the lecture and the reading, omit or misrepresent important points from the lecture, or contain language errors or expressions that largely obscure connections or meaning, particularly for readers not familiar with the reading and the lecture.


Score 1: A response at this level is marked by one or more of the following: little or no meaningful or relevant coherent content from the lecture, and a language level so low that it is difficult to derive meaning from the response.


Score 0: A response at this level simply copies sentences from the reading, rejects the topic, is not connected to the topic, is written in a foreign language, consists of keystroke characters, or is blank.


These different levels provide a framework for evaluating the quality of responses in integrated tasks for the TOEFL iBT® Writing section.


Your response would most likely fall into the category of Score 4. 


You have successfully selected important information from the lecture and connected it coherently to the relevant points made in the reading passage. Your arguments are clear, and you've accurately represented the professor's points of view against the reading passage's positive portrayal of bilingual education. You have discussed all three main points the professor raised: the variable impact on cognitive abilities, the potential for division in diverse classrooms, and the fact that bilingualism is not the primary determinant of employability.


However, there are a few minor language errors in your response. For example, in the first paragraph, the phrase "it have doubts effectiveness of bilingual education" should be rephrased as "it casts doubts on the effectiveness of bilingual education". Additionally, in the last paragraph, "given furher concern from teachers" should be "given further consideration by teachers".


While these language errors are not extensive, they may slightly impact the clarity of your response, which is why it falls into the category of Score 4 rather than Score 5. In order to improve your score, you could focus on proofreading your response for grammatical accuracy and ensuring that your sentences are well-structured and clear. 


Overall, your understanding of the task is good, and your ability to synthesize information from both the reading passage and the lecture is commendable.


Based on your response and the TOEFL iBT® Writing Scoring Rubric for Integrated Tasks, I would give you a score of 4.5. 


You have generally selected the important information from the lecture and presented it coherently and accurately in relation to the information from the reading passage. You have discussed all the key points from the lecture and made the relevant connections to the reading passage. However, the minor language errors in your response prevent it from achieving a perfect score. 


Remember, this scoring is an estimation based on my analysis as an AI language model and may not exactly match an official TOEFL score. For more accurate scoring and feedback, I recommend taking a practice exam through an official TOEFL iBT® resource or hiring a professional test tutor.


 

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